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  PondStuff! Monthly Pond & Water Gardening Newsletter


                 Funniest Pond Stories - Part 1, May 2004

Get ready for some gut-wrenching, laugh out loud hilarious pond
stories from all over the world...

(Continued from May Issue of PondStuff!)

We had some hilarious, truly gut wrenching, laugh out-loud
stories sent in by some of you. Here we're going to highlight
some of the funniest stories for you to read.

We had entries from all over the place (Inluding one all the way
from THAILAND!) The competition was fierce, and to be honest - I
had a really hard time deciding on one 'funniest' story, but
here's a brief rundown of our entries: cats, dogs, and bunnies
(?) all taking the Nestea plunge right into the water, a hungry
KOI nibbling in dangerous territory, a missing flip flop, an
electrifying experience for grandma, fun for the whole family,
fish frape, and flying fish to boot!

First, let's start with this very funny story about 'Smokey' -
who apparently thinks he can walk on water. This was sent in by
Mike Lachance from Maryland:

Funny Pond Story #1

"I wish I had a photo to share of this very true story but any
ponder with cats has likely had the same experience at some time
or another. Several years ago, when I was enjoying the second
season of my first pond (I have now built four as I've moved
around), one of our cats, "Smokey", who was a natural hunter in
her prime, saw a mockingbird alight on a lilly pad to get a drink
of water. Well, old "Smokester" slowly crept out from under some
day lillies and made a spectacular jump with all four paws
majestically carrying her like a flying squirrel, right for that
intruding bird.

It is not as though she had not already had a couple of
encounters with the water but that day the feathered treat must
have been too much for her to pass up. Well, both my wife and I
were there to see her make a wonderful belly flop into the pond.

Of course, the bird was out of the way in plenty of time and I
swear that that cat walked on her toes the five feet it took her
to get out of the water! And of course, after removing herself
from the water, in a very nonchalant manner, proceeded to lift
each leg, shake off the water and as much as say "I meant to do
that, you know".

Smokey often spent time at the pond later, using her tail to
attract the fish (she would put it in the water and swish it
around and the fish would come up to explore it. She never did
catch one). She also loved to sit at the waterfall and enjoy the
water moving past her. So that is my funny pond story.

=== Funny Pond Story #2

"Dear all at McArthur,

My funniest pond story is about my late aunt, who introduced me
to the joy of backyard ponds. Donna had a large koi pond in her
backyard that she devoted endless amounts of love and attention
to. As happens with most ponds, spring brought some uninvited
guests...in this case frogs. One evening Donna was working on the
pond, checking the cantankerous pump and filter system, and using
her net to skim out leaves and what not that had blown in.

My 80+ plus year old grandmother was supervising the work and
offering her expert opinion on how to proceed. They were amazed
at the number of frogs that had taken up residence, and not too
happy about it. Donna noticed a frog swimming at the far side of
the pond that she wanted to get out...something was not quite
right about the way he was swimming, and she pointed him out to
Grandma. "Mom, look at that frog swimming on his back!" Grandma
was a bit skeptical...frogs doing the back stroke were a
phenomenon that she was unfamiliar with.

She advised that this misfit should be removed immediately. Don't
want to give the other little froggies strange ideas. Donna made
several attempts at scooping the miscreant up with her net, but
he was just out of reach. Only one thing left to do. Roll up your
shorts and wade in after him. The answer to Mr. Frogs strange
swimming technique became painfully obvious as soon as Donna
reached his immediate vacinity....a faulty under water light had
shorted and electrocuted him! Donna didn't need her electric
rollers for a few days after that!"

Enecia Sabroff

Funny Pond Story #3

"Hello----My husband recently bought a beagle puppy, at this time
he was 8 weeks old. My husband also bought two almost, semi-tame
rabbits to help train the puppy to track rabbits. At this time I
only had one pond that was preformed 550 gallons, my husband put
one of the rabbits out to platy with the puppy, the rabbit was
teasing the puppy, running a little ways then jumping over his
head, then the rabbit decided he didn't want to play anymore so
he started to run from Bear (the puppy), and he dove into the
pond. We were thinking that Bear would go around the pond to
the other side and continue chasing the bunny, but Bear just dove
right in, he was so little though that he had to be rescued from
the small backyard pond. My husband's only response was "he's
going to be a good rabbit dog!" Well, thanks for listening to
my story. Sincerely, Roberta Collins Toledo, Ohio

Funny Pond Story #4

"A story to share...

Two years ago I started with the crazy idea of building a small
pond with koi fishes. After a lot of working I finally built it,
and decorated it with all sort of plants. One day... mi female
cat “Manchita” went to the pond to examine this new
construction. She went to the border, jumped on a flat stone and
starter to drink water. To her big surprise one of the fishes ,
possibly thinking that the white nose of my cat was food, jumped
out of the water, trying to eat it.. Can you imagine the
surprise of the cat ? I believe that the fish was also quite
impressed with the experience. My cat almost fell into the pond ,
.. and from then on she never went around the pond again. She
used to watch the pond from my dorm, located in the second floor
and just across the pond. Unfortunately I did not take a picture
of this “accident”. I am sending you a pictute of this first
pond; in the meantime I did build another, larger one.
Unfortunately “Manchita” is not around any more, she passed away
a few month ago, from old age.. This story happened in Valdivia,
a city located in the south of Chile. In this country winter is
approaching, with lots of leaves falling from the trees an the
plants in my pond preparing themselves to sleep for a while..."
Maria Fresard

==

Funny Pond Story #5

"I have two ponds. An upper and lower pond. The upper pond is fed
by a waterfall with the source being the lower pond (driven by a
pump). The lower pond is fed by an overflow of the upper pond
that flows underground for about 70 feet (12 in drain pipe). Last
summer I rescued some trout fingerlings from a seasonal stream
going dry near my home. I put them in the lower pond. This spring
I was sitting in my kitchen and could see something flopping on
my water fall. The trout had migrated up the overflow tube and
were trying to swim further upstream via the water falls. No so
funny but does show the strength of nature. Just a few weeks ago,
Egrets found the pond and the fish.

There is nothing left to migrate at this time. Not so funny but
does an Egret taste anything like a turkey when cooked?"

Tom Gegenheimer

==

Funny Pond Story #6

"We have only had a pond for a short time ... details can be seen
at http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/

The funny story must include the workmen (in Thailand) who took
zero safety precautions when constructing the pond.

Watching guys shovelling concrete from a lorry and spreading it
across the bottom of the pond ... when the footwear they had was
just 'flip-flops' resulted in great entertainment .... especially
when. several times, the flip flops came off and were lost in the
cement somewhere (eventually found while they walked around bare
footed) .... pictures at

http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/images/large/DSC03062.jpg
http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/images/large/DSC03070.jpg
http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/images/large/DSC03060.jpg

Strangely it was only the guys .... the women laborers all wore
Wellington boots .... maybe this reflects on which of the sexes
is really the most sensible?" Regards, Chris

==

Funny Pond Story #7

"I am building a pond at this time and I was in the process of
building a waterfall in the corner of a fence. The waterfall is
about 3 feet high and 7 feet wide. I thought I was finishing up
the waterfall with some flat rock on the very top. So I
straddeled thewaterfall with my knees on the second ledge and set
the flat rock on top. When I did this the whole waterfall fell
down because I build it on blocks and not a pile of dirt.

When it fell one big rock caught my foot and I slide down the
fall and fell backwards into the pond going all the way under and
had a couple of big rocks come down on me. Meanwhile my wife is
laughing her butt of at me and I asked her to help me out she
slipped on the flat wet rock that surounded the ponds edge and
half way fell in with me.

Now my two boys were playing in the yard they are 5 and 3 and saw
this happen to us and they thought it was time to got swimming so
guess who jumped into the pond with us, the boys. Nothing like
having the whole family in on the pond. We laughed for awhile but
then I had to rebuild the whole waterfall again and this time I
put the top rocks on from the side."

Robert H Coppa Jr.

==

Funny Pond Story #8

I decided 300 gallons would be perfect. I did all the math and
spent a great deal of time working with more experienced
ponders. Somehow when it was all said and done my little 300
gallon pond ended up being 810 gallons and come to find out it
was yet another one of my mathematical errors. Guess I should
have paid more attention in that college level math class
required for my Associates, right.

We got the pond all up and running but because of the
miscalculation we now needed a bigger pump to feed the waterfall
so I went to our local water garden supplier and asked which one
to get. Budget was a concern so it was recommended that we got a
¾ HP submersible pump that cycles 44 gallons a minuet. It was
only $70 in comparison to the $170 one that was its comparative
alternative so… we went that route. $70 dollars later we had a
working pond with a beautiful waterfall! I was so excited I could
hardly wait to get fish.

Again budget was a concern so we went to the local pet store and
picked up $50 dollars worth of fish, about 8 fish. 4 large gold
Koi, some yellow and a blue Koi. The color excited me so much I
never considered what would happen when the fish became
comfortable in their new home. The swam around investigating for
a day or two then started to come up missing. I had it figured
that they were hiding or that a cat was getting fed to well but I
never figured it was something I could have done. It was the
pump… the intake valve on the pump was to large and the fish were
getting to close and being sucked into the pump though the motor
pushed down the hose into my waterfall.

While this is not a funny story, I must have cried for 3 days, I
wanted to share it because this is the one thing I never read
anything about in all the 6 weeks of reading I did on the web. I
can chuckle about it now with a ‘I can’t believe I didn’t think
of that’ thought.

Had I known this was possible I would have done something to
prevent it by caging in my pump or spending the extra $100 to
get the right kind of pump.

Hope someone else can save a Koi by my blending experience.

Thanks,

New to ponds and already thinking of making it fish free!" Sheri
Furr

==

Well that's it for this year's 'Funniest Pond Stories'... Hope
you enjoyed them as much as I did!

Respectfully submitted,

Brett Fogle
MacArthur Water Gardens
www.macarthurwatergardens.com
www.pond-filters-online.com


***************************************************************
Brett Fogle is the owner of MacArthur Water Gardens and several
pond-related websites including macarthurwatergardens.com and
pond-filters-online.com. He also publishes a free monthly newsletter
called PondStuff! with a reader circulation of over 9,000 pond owners.
To sign up for the free newsletter and receive a complimentary 'New
Pond Owners Guide' for joining, just visit MacArthur Water Gardens at
                   http://www.macarthurwatergardens.com
<< Specializing in pond filtration and clear water solutions >>
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