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Get ready for some gut-wrenching,
laugh out loud hilarious pond stories from all over the world...
Funniest Pond Stories - Part 1, May
2004 (Continued from May
Issue of PondStuff!)
We had some hilarious, truly gut
wrenching, laugh out-loud stories sent in by some of you. Here we're
going to highlight some of the funniest stories for you to
read, and we'll post ALL of the funniest pond stories sent in on the
website (link below). We had
entries from all over the place (Including one all the way from
THAILAND!) The competition was fierce, and to be honest - I had a
really hard time deciding on one 'funniest' story. So, I'm going to
leave it up to you. That's right - I'm asking everyone of you to
'vote' on your favorite 'funniest pond story'. Then we'll release
the results in a week or so...
But here's a brief rundown of our entries:
cats, dogs, and bunnies (?) all taking the Nestea plunge right into the
water, a hungry KOI nibbling in dangerous territory,
a missing flip flop, an electrifying experience for grandma, fun for the
whole family, fish frape, and flying fish to boot! There you have it, these
are the entries you will be voting on at the end, so get ready for some very
amusing pond stories!
First, let's start with this very funny story
about 'Smokey' - who apparently thinks he can walk on water. This was sent
in by Mike Lachance from Maryland:
Funny Pond Story #1
"I wish I had a photo to share of this very
true story but any ponder with cats has likely had the same experience at
some time or another. Several years ago, when I was enjoying the second
season of my first pond (I have now built four as I've moved around), one of
our cats, "Smokey", who was a natural hunter in her prime, saw a mockingbird
alight on a lilly pad to get a drink of water. Well, old "Smokester" slowly
crept out from under some day lillies and made a spectacular jump with all
four paws majestically carrying her like a flying squirrel, right for that
intruding bird.
It is not as though she had not already had a
couple of encounters with the water but that day the feathered treat must
have been too much for her to pass up. Well, both my wife and I were there
to see her make a wonderful belly flop into the pond.
Of course, the bird was out of the way in
plenty of time and I swear that that cat walked on her toes the five feet it
took her to get out of the water! And of course, after removing herself from
the water, in a very nonchalant manner, proceeded to lift each leg, shake
off the water and as much as say "I meant to do that, you know".
Smokey often spent time at the pond later, using her tail to attract the
fish (she would put it in the water and swish it around and the fish would
come up to explore it. She never did catch one). She also loved to sit at
the waterfall and enjoy the water moving past her.
So that is my funny pond story.
===
Funny Pond Story #2
"Dear all at McArthur,
My funniest pond story is about my
late aunt, who introduced me to the joy of backyard ponds.
Donna had a large koi pond in her
backyard that she devoted endless amounts of love and attention
to. As happens with most ponds, spring brought some uninvited
guests...in this case frogs. One evening Donna was working on the
pond, checking the cantankerous pump and filter system, and using
her net to skim out leaves and what not that had blown in.
My 80+ plus year old grandmother was supervising the work and
offering her expert opinion on how to proceed. They were amazed at
the number of frogs that had taken up residence, and not too happy
about it. Donna noticed a frog swimming at the far side of the
pond that she wanted to get out...something was not quite right
about the way he was swimming, and she pointed him out to Grandma.
"Mom, look at that frog swimming on his back!" Grandma was a bit
skeptical...frogs doing the back stroke were a phenomenon that she
was unfamiliar with.
She advised that this misfit should
be removed immediately. Don't want to give the other little
froggies strange ideas. Donna made several attempts at scooping
the miscreant up with her net, but he was just out of reach. Only
one thing left to do. Roll up your shorts and wade in after him.
The answer to Mr. Frogs strange swimming technique became
painfully obvious as soon as Donna reached his immediate vacinity....a
faulty under water light had shorted and electrocuted him! Donna
didn't need her electric rollers for a few days after that!"
Enecia Sabroff
Funny Pond Story #3
"Hello----My husband recently bought a
beagle puppy, at this time he was 8 weeks old. My husband also
bought two almost, semi-tame rabbits to help train the puppy to
track rabbits. At this time I only had one pond that was
preformed 550 gallons, my husband put one of the rabbits out to
platy with the puppy, the rabbit was teasing the puppy, running a
little ways then jumping over his head, then the rabbit decided he
didn't want to play anymore so he started to run from Bear (the
puppy), and he dove into the pond.
We were thinking that Bear would go
around the pond to the other side and continue chasing the bunny,
but Bear just dove right in, he was so little though that he had
to be rescued from the small backyard pond. My husband's only
response was "he's going to be a good rabbit dog!"
Well, thanks for listening to my
story.
Sincerely,
Roberta Collins
Toledo, Ohio
Funny Pond Story #4
"A story to share...
Two years ago I started with the crazy
idea of building a small pond with koi fishes. After a lot of
working I finally built it, and decorated it with all sort of
plants. One day... mi female cat “Manchita” went to the pond to
examine this new construction. She went to the border, jumped on a
flat stone and starter to drink water. To her big surprise one of
the fishes , possibly thinking that the white nose of my cat was
food, jumped out of the water, trying to eat it.. Can you imagine
the surprise of the cat ? I believe that the fish was also quite
impressed with the experience. My cat almost fell into the pond , ..
and from then on she never went around the pond again. She used to
watch the pond from my dorm, located in the second floor and just
across the pond. Unfortunately I did not take a picture of this
“accident”. I am sending you a pictute of this first pond; in the
meantime I did build another, larger one. Unfortunately “Manchita”
is not around any more, she passed away a few month ago, from old
age..
This story happened in Valdivia, a city
located in the south of Chile. In this country winter is
approaching, with lots of leaves falling from the trees an the
plants in my pond preparing themselves to sleep for a while..."
Maria Fresard
Funny Pond Story #5
"I have two ponds. An upper and lower pond.
The upper pond is fed by a waterfall with the source being the lower pond
(driven by a pump). The lower pond is fed by an overflow of the upper pond
that flows underground for about 70 feet (12 in drain pipe). Last summer I
rescued some trout fingerlings from a seasonal stream going dry near my
home. I put them in the lower pond. This spring I was sitting in my
kitchen and could see something flopping on my water fall. The trout had
migrated up the overflow tube and were trying to swim further upstream via
the water falls. No so funny but does show the strength of nature. Just a
few weeks ago, Egrets found the pond and the fish.
There is nothing left to migrate at this time. Not so funny but does an
Egret taste anything like a turkey when cooked?"
Tom Gegenheimer
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Funny Pond Story #6
"We have only had a pond for a short time ... details can be seen
at
http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/
The funny story must include the workmen (in Thailand) who took
zero safety precautions when constructing the pond.
Watching guys shovelling concrete from a lorry and spreading it
across the bottom of the pond ... when the footwear they had was
just 'flip-flops' resulted in great entertainment .... especially
when. several times, the flip flops came off and were lost in the
cement somewhere (eventually found while they walked around bare
footed) .... pictures at
http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/images/large/DSC03062.jpg
http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/images/large/DSC03070.jpg
http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/images/large/DSC03060.jpg
Strangely it was only the guys .... the women laborers all wore
Wellington boots .... maybe this reflects on which of the sexes is
really the most sensible?"
Regards,
Chris
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Funny Pond Story #7
"I am building a pond at this time and I was
in the process of building a waterfall in the corner of a fence. The
waterfall is about 3 feet high and 7 feet wide. I thought I was
finishing up the waterfall with some flat rock on the very top. So I
straddeled the
waterfall with my knees on the second ledge and set the flat rock on
top. When I did this the whole waterfall fell down because I build
it on blocks and not a pile of dirt.
When it fell one big rock caught my foot and I
slide down the fall and fell backwards
into the pond going all the way under and had a couple of big rocks
come down on me. Meanwhile my wife is laughing her butt of at me and
I asked her to help me out she slipped on the flat wet rock that
surounded the ponds edge and half way fell in with me.
Now my two boys were playing in the yard they
are 5 and 3 and saw this happen to us and they thought it was time
to got swimming so guess who jumped into the pond with us, the boys.
Nothing like having the whole family in on the pond. We laughed for
awhile but then I had to rebuild the whole waterfall again and this
time I put the top rocks on from the side."
Robert H Coppa Jr.
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Funny Pond Story #8
I decided 300 gallons would be perfect. I did all the math and spent
a great
deal of time working with more experienced ponders. Somehow when it
was all
said and done my little 300 gallon pond ended up being 810 gallons
and come
to find out it was yet another one of my mathematical errors. Guess
I should
have paid more attention in that college level math class required
for my
Associates, right.
We got the pond all up and running but because of the miscalculation
we now
needed a bigger pump to feed the waterfall so I went to our local
water
garden supplier and asked which one to get. Budget was a concern so
it was
recommended that we got a ¾ HP submersible pump that cycles 44
gallons a
minuet. It was only $70 in comparison to the $170 one that was its
comparative alternative so… we went that route. $70 dollars later we
had a
working pond with a beautiful waterfall! I was so excited I could
hardly
wait to get fish.
Again budget was a concern so we went to the
local pet store and picked up $50 dollars worth of fish, about
8 fish. 4 large gold Koi, some yellow and a blue Koi. The color
excited me so much I never considered what would happen when
the fish became comfortable in their new home. The swam around
investigating for a day or two then started to come up missing. I
had it figured that they were hiding or that a cat was getting fed
to well but I never figured it was something I could have done. It
was the pump… the intake valve on the pump was to large and the fish
were
getting to close and being sucked into the pump though the motor
pushed down
the hose into my waterfall.
While this is not a funny story, I must have cried for 3 days, I
wanted to
share it because this is the one thing I never read anything about
in all
the 6 weeks of reading I did on the web. I can chuckle about it now
with a
‘I can’t believe I didn’t think of that’ thought.
Had I known this was possible I would have done something to prevent
it by
caging in my pump or spending the extra $100 to get the right kind
of pump.
Hope someone else can save a Koi by my blending experience.
Thanks,
New to ponds and already thinking of making it fish free!"
Sheri Furr
==
Well that's it for this year's 'Funniest
Pond Stories'...
Now it's time to 'Vote' for your favorite
funny story.
Please use the links below to vote:
Vote for
Funny Pond Story #1
(Smokey the Cat)
Vote for
Funny Pond Story #2
(Grandma's Shocking Experience)
Vote for
Funny Pond Story #3
(The Rabbit Dog)
Vote for
Funny Pond Story #4
(Catfish surprise)
Vote for
Funny Pond Story #5
(Migrating Trout)
Vote for
Funny Pond Story #6
(Missing Flip Flop)
Vote for
Funny Pond Story #7
(Waterfall Cave in)
Vote for
Funny Pond Story #8
(Fish Frapee)
We'll send
out a winner in the next week!
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